PIRACY OF THIS SITE’S CONTENT


A PERSONAL NOTE TO MY UNKNOWN & UNSEEN FANS

BY MARK L. GOLDEN

             


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Welcome to the depository of works that have come from my fancy mind. It being the only mind I’ve ever had, doesn’t mean that I’ve learned how to properly manage the clutter in order to better create . The need to creatively express what I conceive of, and envision, has been a long exasperating and at times, pleasant road.

When God “tags” you with creativity resistance is futile. The desire to decorate, adorn, ornament and do something showy, whether tiny or huge, is there for a lifetime. Concern for effect and style is inescapable.

Creative people have ups and downs in attempts to achieve their own distinct style. Creative drives must be bridled and disciplined for the imagination to be exercised into finished products for others to see, hear or touch. The process has a curious trait – anticipating what others are going to think of the piece. Once the fertile soil of a fan base (of any size) occurs, new seeds are found in the fancy-minded person that can: increase beauty; understanding; laughter; enjoyment; morality and even spirituality in our world community. Such fancy ideas sprout easier and the finished products just might last longer knowing that you have an audience laced with positive expectations.

As you look at my fancy-ness on my pages consider this. The opposite of effort is for someone who is un-fancy or simply fancy-challenged, to steal away my authorship and ideas from the hours of a creative process per piece, plus the years of growth, learning and cost from amateur to professional. This for their own self-centeredness and unearned profit!

Take note that current technologies and the Internet allow thievery of artistic achievements by sincere and insincere “fans.” The temptations are endless. The objects of desire easy to acquire.


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Mark Lee Golden Copyright 2020    markleegoldenwriter.com


Was Jesus Incapable of Stubbing a Toe?




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“Very droll. Nicely done.” Lucas W.

“You have a highly developed sense of the ridiculous and have mastered the art of satiric humor.” Sue E.

“Glad to see a new one hot off the press.” Jennilyn W.

.” Lucas W.

“A fun read.” Jeanne M.

.” Lucas W.

“Once again, I enjoyed your “news” article.” Emily T.

.” Lucas W.

Chicago, Illinois

Capable or incapable? You might wonder as did the scholars at the Center for Theological Conundrums annual conference, which met in Chicago this year. They recently published their findings on this most curious and ancient enigma. Moses, Jesus, Mohamed and Buddha were examined as part of CTC’s current “Spiritual giant or just the guy next door?” series. Jesus Christ and his toes were singled out for the Monday morning seminar panel discussion. Conundrum scholars joined Early Church Fathers, who had debated this topic ruthlessly in ancient Rome.

One key passage cited was Luke 19: 39 and 40, “Some of the Pharisees told Jesus, ‘Teacher, rebuke your disciples.’ He answered, ‘I tell you, if they were to keep silent, the rocks would cry out.’” The idea of rocks crying out in praise to Jesus is poetic and startling imagery. But, does it imply that only those select rocks in particular, were pro-toes and chummy feet friendly allies?

Another key verse was Matthew 4:6, “The devil said to Jesus, ‘If you are the Son of God, jump off the top of the Temple, because the Scriptures say, “God will command his angels to help you, and their hands will catch you, so that you will not hit your foot on a rock.”’” Here we have rocks as dangerous anti-feet, toe woe, and requiring angelic intervention.

Arguments ensued as to whether such verses should be taken literally or figuratively. Did a rock mean a rock or not? And, if Jesus was divine, wouldn’t he have had some kind of supernatural radar or hypersensitivity to discern unstable rocks in his path and so avoid them?

It was also pointed out that Jesus could stop a severe storm with only a word. But, could he have played basketball? Would he need to learn the game and then practice to gain the necessary skills?

As an aside, scholars questioned: “Did Jesus ever hit his thumb with a hammer while doing carpentry?” Some set forth this hypothetical situation: “Only if one of his younger brothers bumped him by accident, otherwise no.” And if so, did he shout out in pain, “Jesus Christ!”? Probably not. Perhaps, a hearty “Oy vey!” or “Oy, my Habakkuk!” This line of reasoning strongly divided the attendees. Yet, they all agreed that—however it came about—if Jesus did have unexpected pain, his reactions would’ve been holy, no cussing, no cursing. Yet, this reasoning raised another point. “Did he ever have the common cold?” Which raised another point, “Can God make a rock so big that even he couldn’t lift it?”

That line of reasoning was applied to Jesus in his off-hours, playing musical chairs with his 12 disciples (a favorite Jewish pastime). Did he know when the music would stop and what chair to hover close to? If so, was that insider knowledge and amount to cheating?

No surprise, the now heated anti-stub camp merged with the now heated and newly formed anti-thumb camp—the battle lines were not only drawn, but grew deeper and wider.

Another cited Scripture was Hebrews 4:15 states, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.” This Scripture posed an insightful paradox. Could this mean that Jesus’ ten-toed humanness indeed suffered by stubbing just like we do?

Anti-stubbers saw Jesus injuring a toe as something “only sinners” would or could do. Being without sin, he was “incapable” and thoroughly stub-free. They asserted that “nothing was accidental in his unique life, and so he prevented any and all mishaps while bearing a subtle smile.”

But stubbers touted that Hebrews clearly taught Jesus was susceptible to all human frailties. They claimed it “wasn’t a sin to make a full-on, fall down, get dirty stumble or stub only one or all toes—in anyone’s life.” Stubbers shocked anti-stubbers by comfortably asserting that even “Mary had stretch marks and still bears them in heaven.”

One attendee questioned, “Just when did toe centric protective footwear become available—and would Jesus have needed or perhaps merely wanted to purchase a pair for the new fashion style?”

The discussion then turned into a raucous debate with occasional bawdy name-calling. As the volatile atmosphere rose, anti-stubbers cynically accused stubbers, “You must also think Jesus was subject to Murphy’s Law* and Judas is the proof!”

Out of control, the opposition grumbled and rudely shot back, “Well, Jesus said he didn’t come to abolish the Law—so there!” The CDC president pounded his gavel for order. A tense ten-minute recess followed.

Walking out of the room, one person stubbornly said to no one in particular, “Did baby Jesus ever have a dirty diaper, answer me that?” Another person questioned, Did a divinely confident, full of wisdom, Jesus carry all of his chicken eggs in one basket? If so, did he teach his disciples to not do the same? I’m just sayin’.”

The Center for Theological Conundrums conference ended with a 50/50 split. Anti-stubbers (incapable) firmly held to no banged-up and ten always 24/7 looking divine set of toes. Stubbers (capable) embraced ten calloused, scratched, scabby, and sometimes smelly toes with nails perhaps overdue for a trim.

Murphy’s Law states: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”


Another story from REAL LIFE (that I made up!) This parody news story is for amusement. Any similarity to real people, Biblical characters, places or things is fictitious and not to be taken as fact.


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