The Grumpy Disciple #3

God, You Don’t Know What You’re Doing!

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The Grumpy Disciple #2

      

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The Grumpy Disciple #4

Is It Time For God To Go In For Therapy?

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The Grumpy Disciple #5

The Invisible and Unspoken Doctrine

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The Grumpy Disciple #6


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The Grumpy Disciple #7

WANTED: Imaginary Friend. Must be Invisible.

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The Grumpy Disciple #8

What’s In a Name? Plenty of Lawsuits

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The Grumpy Disciple #9

Miserable Christians

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The Grumpy Disciple #10

God Kills, But Never Murders

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #11

God Declares Himself An Atheist

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #12

My Bushwhacked Brain

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #13

Why Didn’t The Grinch Steal Chanukkah?

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ARCHIVES

The Grumpy Disciple #1

Who Owns God? They Do! Don’t They?

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #14

God Doesn’t Make Misstakes


            

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #16

Two Confused

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #18

Jesus Was Downtown Staying at the Motel 8

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #19

When Christ Killers Roamed the Earth


                                  



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Send me an email. I’d appreciate hearing from you!

markleegolden123@gmail.com


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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #24 What’s A Jesus?

Inside Everyone Hides a Secret Atheist Who Wants To Get Out

The Grumpy Disciple Blog #20

The Amazing World of This Amazing World

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“You stir things up! Insightful.” - Greta   “Pure Mark!” - Paul L.  “A wry observer of the passing parade.” - Gene M.  “Hilarious!” Leah N.

Survey Finds Americans Insincere with Post Sneeze “God Bless you!”

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #21

Even Mary Had Stretch Marks

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and ARCHIVES Immature Billionaires Need Not Apply The Grumpy Disciple Blog #26 The Grumpy Disciple Blog #17 READ IN PDF If God Doesn’t Exist, Please Delete This Article READ IN PDF The Day God Came To Earth For Lunch The Grumpy Disciple Blog #23 READ IN PDF READ IN PDF READ IN PDF
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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #27


Mary Troubles


Mark Lee Golden  Copyright 2018  markleegoldenwriter.com



I have trouble with Marys.

Yes, many different attempts to create the true Mary. The song Silent Night can't be correct. Can it? Was she robbed of labor pains? Did Jesus just snooze after he slid out of the birth canal (all clean and shiny)??? We are sold on the bestest newborn ever, like he couldn't even cry or know what he'd do that for?

I'm assuming that if he didn't make a peep, like wanting to be (breast) fed, he was the most kicked backed infant imaginable. "Wait a minute, Mark! You really think Mary breast fed!?! C'mon! That's the Virgin we're talkin' about...watch your step!" He we go again. It's like he never needed his diaper changed--after all, he was Jesus. Does a "holy infant" poop?

Don't forget, 8 days later his penis was carved by a knife so that a ring of flesh was cut off=circumcision. I'm betting my King James Bible on some howling and tears--by the Savior. The Jewish tradition is to put a drop of wine (not grape juice) on the tongue of the baby boy to help the infant's pain. That's certainly the definition of "symbolic" to me.

Anyway, back to the many Marys out there, mostly shivering in the cold outside of churches or home outdoor displays. I do like concentrating this semi-humorous blog on a shockingly dramatic thought. The Mary I have researched, the Jewish gal, would shriek at the attention, veneration, songs, and unlimited prayers for and to her.

It's like this: My Mary gets off the bus downtown and visits a nearby church...with a baseball bat in her hands. Where did she get the bat from? I don't know, and it's not important. So, she strolls in the door and sees big and tiny statues of herself and a little baby. Oh! She also finds a fancy crown on her Jewish head. Mary smirks, "Queen of Heaven?!? Oh yeah right, please. What's next?"

(Now understand, these are statues. Never, no way, could anyone ever mistake them for idols, ‘cause Christians know what trouble idolatry caused the Jews. God hates idol worship, He's very clear on that.)

But Mary mistakenly sees lit candles, incense and other paraphernalia crowded around at the ceramic and plastic feet of these Mary look-alike idol looking things. WOW! BAM! BAM! BAM! Fake Marys 0, Real Mary hits them all outta ballpark.

The annoying thing is that the venerating multitude sees her destructive vindication and the mess she has made. Weeping in unbelief, they demand that she leave their church or the police will be called. As she walks out, literally in real holy sweat, BAM! There goes the holy water holder. Smacks that thing down due to one swing. Now, with the bat resting on one shoulder, Mary walks out the door, she grins, cause she is just getting started.

Outside of the church she stops on the sidewalk and prays, "Father forgive them, for they know what they are doing."



         Another commentary from REAL LIFE. This parody is for amusement. Any similarity to real people, places or divine beings is fictitious and not to be taken as fact.


These Things Make Me Grumpy…


The Grumpy Disciple Blog #27 Mary Troubles READ IN PDF READ IN PDF

The Grumpy Disciple Blog #22

A Travel Writer Of Sorts

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The Grumpy Disciple Blog #17

            If God Doesn’t Exist, Please Delete This Article

The Grumpy Disciple Blog #15

Pray Tell?

                                                                                          

The Grumpy Disciple Blog #25

The Voice of One Crying Pouting In The Wilderness

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